Tuesday, July 29, 2008

5 Tips to Help You Win Your Ex Back

By Erik J. Michaels


A hard breakup can make folks go to pieces, and picking yourself up for an honest effort to get your ex back can be really difficult. These 5 tips are to help give you an easier time of trying to make things work out for the best.

1. Life goes on, and letting it pass you by will just put in an even worse position than where you are. No matter how you feel, you need to keep living your life. Do things that you enjoy, it'll do you a lot of good.

2. Too many people seem to feel that drugs or alcohol are an easy way out from the pain, but in truth it's just an escape that can damage you more than help you. Find healthy ways to deal with your broken heart...seek help in your friends and family, or things you enjoy.

3. Odd as it may sound, it's actually a good idea to cut off contact with your ex for about a month after you two break up. This can really help your situation in a number of ways: it keeps more conflict from flaring up from all the emotion flying around, it gives you both time to evaluate your situations, and lets you form a plan for how you can most effectively get him back when the time is up, so that you don't have to just do whatever comes naturally and hope it works. This no-contact term means no contact, period...no email, no text messaging, no phone calls...nothing.

4. Don't trust your heart to lead you to victory in getting your ex back...your first impulses in this situation are usually the wrong thing to do, simply because these situations don't work like you would think they do. It's a tricky situation, and you'll need to plan your moves. Think with your head, not with your heart. You'll have to have reasoning behind everything you do.

5. Be willing to accept that you two may not be destined to be together...but don't let that hold you back from giving it your best. 95% of breakups can be fixed if handled properly, but there is that chance that you two aren't each others' true soulmates. Be prepared for that possibility, but do your best to solve the problems you face.

These 5 tips may not give you much comfort, but right now nothing probably will. If you heed their advice, however, they will show you the way to the right course of action. Never underestimate the power of having a helping hand, a plan...this is too tough of a situation to go it alone.

The smartest and best choice is to make sure you have a plan built for when you actively pursue your ex again after that month of no contact. Winging it is just going to dig you in deeper as most of this is confusing stuff that doesn't seem to make much sense. Having everything planned out through an underlying strategy will help you immensely.

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